Frequently, students and parents are happy with their grades, SAT scores, and college application lists . . . until they talk to other students and parents and find themselves playing the comparison game. Several students told me they decided not to apply to a certain school they loved only because it wouldn’t sound impressive when other people asked where they were applying or going to college. Not talking about your own or your children’s statistics – and not asking about others’ – will take an enormous weight off your shoulders.

3. Pare Down Activities

Many student pile on extracurricular activities to add lines to their college résumé, sacrificing sleep and leisure time in the process. But admissions officers I spoke with said they would prefer that students commit to only one or two activities that truly interest them.

4. Understand That Name Does Not Reflect Ability

Much of the frenzy over college admissions stems from the belief that name-brand schools provide the best education and most direct stepping-stone to success. This is a myth. Studies have shown that earnings do not increase with a degree from an elite school, and in 2005 the number of S&P 500 CEOs who had graduated from Harvard matched the number who had graduated from the University of Wisconsin.

5. Accept That Admissions Aren’t Personal