Too many families view admissions letter day as judgment day, as if an acceptance or rejection offered some sort of personal commentary. In reality, admissions are a numbers game that most students can’t beat. The competition is so stiff that the difference between a “Congratulations” and an “Unfortunately…” can be as simple as the fact that the school orchestra needs a French horn player. Admissions officers told me that every season they have to turn down large numbers of students who are exceptionally qualified to attend their school.

The bottom line is that there are more than 2,500 four-year colleges in the U.S., in addition to many fantastic schools abroad. Most of these schools would fall over backwards to admit a decent student. The idea that the quality of education at name-brand schools is leaps and bounds ahead of other schools is wrong. So relax. It’s okay not to get caught up in the frenzy. Focusing on individual interests and spending time doing things for happiness’ sake rather than for résumé lines will ensure that everything will work out just fine. (Many more tips, and the stories of the students I followed, can be found in THE OVERACHIEVERS).

** To book Alexandra Robbins for a lecture or moderated discussion, or for more information on THE OVERACHIEVERS: THE SECRET LIVES OF DRIVEN KIDS, please visit AlexandraRobbins.com.